“I found a Dopsu No-Pork piece that looks just like Phil Spencer”
Posted: January 22
It was a fresh spring evening, and she was planning to make Dopsu No-Pork Satay Lettuce Cups.
But, as she was emptying the Dopsu No-Pork pieces into the frying pan, something made her stop and gasp. For right there in the pan, looking up at her as though about to advise her on the best part of Hertfordshire in which to buy a three-bed semi, was the unmistakable face of TV property royalty, Phil Spencer.
Once our brother’s ex-girlfriend’s second cousin’s best friend recovered from the initial shock, she decided to look a little closer.
Tentatively, she attempted communication:
Alas, no response. Just mild sizzling.
It was only then that she began to realise what was going on. Just like the man who discovered the potato that looked like Dame Judy Dench and the young lady who found the egg that looked like Gregg Wallace, she had been chosen. She was a ‘finder’. Infamy awaited.
Sadly, she’d forgotten to turn off the heat. And by the time she’d finished this short daydream, Dopsu No-Pork Phil Spencer’s finely chiselled features had been deliciously caramelised beyond all recognition.
“Phil? PHIL!!!!!!”, she cried in vain.
But it was far too late, his likeness had disappeared faster than a non-load bearing wall separating kitchen and a dining room.
She had no option but to continue to cook and prepare her Dopsu No-Pork Satay Lettuce Cups. As a mark of respect, our brother’s ex-girlfriend’s second cousin’s best friend and her husband ate the meal in silence, comforted by the fact that Dopsu Phil’s melted face tasted really great.
We have been unable to verify this story. However, personally, we’ve no doubt it’s 100% true (our brother’s ex-girlfriend’s second cousin’s best friend just isn’t the exaggerating sort).
So inspired by this exciting, and yet ultimately tragic tale, we want to know if you’ve seen any celebrity likenesses during your Dopsu cooking…
If you have, take a pic and @ us on our social channels. Feel free to annotate and use really really small wigs as required.